History is littered with “If Only” Moments. If only Rene Kink had kicked a goal instead of a point after the siren at half time in the 1977 Grand Final Collingwood might have been too far ahead for North Melbourne to catch up in the second half. If only Phil Carman had not telegraphed his intention of chasing and hitting Michael Tuck during the last quarter of the second semi he would have been able to play in the Grand Final. But he did telegraph his intentions and he ran after Michael Tuck and hit him and was therefore reported. These are two personal reminisces that are If Only moments that come to mind. If only Mozart had not died when he was 35 and had lived until he was 60 or 65 what wonderful music we would have to listen to. Hayden said when he learned that Mozart had died that we would not see his like again for 200 years. Actually he was wrong. We have not seen his like in 300 years and are not likely to see his like in 400 or 500 years. Mozart was a great composer who improved as he got older. It is arguable that his later compositions were better than his earlier compositions. What a pity we missed out on his work after he was aged 35. Of course all our lives are littered with If Only moments. If Only I had stayed in England instead of coming back to Australia when my father died. For some reason I allowed my father dieing to be the key to my returning to Australia, My mother did cry and did ask me directly to come home so I said OK. I could have said no. I was happy living in London. I was happy with my job. I felt at ease in England. I thought the politicians of both sides were essentially decent and far superior to politicians in Australia. I admit that I felt British to my bootstraps. I felt part of the establishment. I did not feel excluded from anything. I took a healthy interest in all things cultural. I felt at home. I felt people liked me. What if I had stayed in London? Of course I would not have had the comfortable life I have had in Australia. I would not have enjoyed the fruits of our wonderful nuclear family. My wife and wonderful children are my life - everything else fades into insignificance. Where would I be? One big If Only that has occurred in my life was something completely out of my control. When I was 14 my family fostered a 2 year old child that transformed our life. We were not a particularly dysfunctional family but it is fair to say that there were always pockets of unhappiness affecting all members. We did not enjoy each others company and we were dominated by a mother who felt women always got an unfair deal. She would have preferred to be a man with mens rights. This little girl shamed us into being happy. My mother forgot about being unhappy and recognised the goodness inside this little girl. All other members of the family fell in love with her. It is fair to say that she affected us all in a positive way. She made us all happy. The If Only comes with this childs later life. We made desultory inquiries about adoption but her mother wanted her back again. She went to live in Wagga and we never saw her again. Fast forward 50 years and miraculously I was able to track her down. Unfortunately her life had been one long series of tragedies. She had never lived for any length of time with her mother and amazingly had for a time in her teens even lived in Wangaratta where she was charged with being in need of care and attention and spent time in goal having ran away from her Aunt with whom she was living at the time. This was only one of many terrible things that happened to her. If Only we had known her whereabouts we might have been able to offer her some comfort. If only we had been able to keep in touch we might have been able to bring some stability to her life. If only we had known what was happening. To my mind one big If Only in life concerns If Only people had voted differently. If only 3 or 4 people had changed their vote at various times our country would be different. We can only speculate how different Australia might be if the elections of 1966, 1975 and 2019 had turned out differently. There is no doubt that Australia would be a better place. From time to time changes are required and can only come through a change of government. If Only people could overcame their prejudices and were able to vote differently. History is littered with If Only situations. Regrets. I wish situations. At least mine is.
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