I have always fancied myself as having some talent when it comes to music. I have always wanted to be in a group. The Beatles changed everything. To me they had the perfect life. I would have liked to do what they did. Who wouldn't?
But of course I never did join a group. I only once played rhythm guitar in a jam session with a very talented person named Frank who went to Bath University. Frank was quite talented and could play lead guitar quite well. He asked me to set down a rhythm guitar sequence for him to play over. This was only a fleeting trivial occurrence but I will remember the thrill of it always. Such are the unknown important things that have meaning only to us as individuals. Hang on Sloopy only has 4 repeating chords. Frank worked out melodies that were entrancing. I provided the chords and did sing solo verses when he needed a rest. We were playing at one end of a long room and there were a number of people in the room. This was student accommodation in Bath. They applauded when we finished. This was the only time I ever played in a grown up way. This was the only time I was ever taken seriously as a musician. I struggled with the guitar for many years. I never succeeded in learning more then 8 or 9 chords. As for playing lead forget it. I did however end up with a large knowledge of songs. I conclude I must have been boring about it. I have since learned that in England during the 70's lots of people went to Art Schools specifically so they could join a group. Pink Floyd all came from Art School. Ditto Roxy Music. Ditto Genesis. Ditto lots of others. It makes sense. Where else would you meet people who were supposedly interested in art and had lots of time to practice. I did once ask if I could join an existing group though. They were called The King Valley Ramblers and were run by my cousin Ivan Fulton. I even wrote a song for him to sing as a kind of audition. He liked country and western and I thought it could be his signature tune. Everyone said he was a good singer. There were 3 in the group. Him singing and playing rhythm guitar. A Bass player who also did sound effects. And a lagerphone player providing percussion and background vocals. I thought I could play keyboards. I offered my services. This is the song I wrote especially. I thought it was quite reasonable. This is only the first verse. It has more verses and a chorus. It was about him. I was born in the north of the state near where mountains meet a river. I lived right beside a railway line and I loved each mornings whistle. Life was tough and hard on the farm but I never once missed chancing my arm Skimming stones is easy and fun when you live in the north of the state. Ivan was my first cousin. In many ways he was my role model. He was 6 years older than me. He worked in the National Bank and was quite happy about it. Everyone liked him. He was quite good at sport. He was popular with both old and young people. There didnt seem to be anyone who disliked him. Of course he was a role model I could never live up to. When I was growing up the bane of my life was my mothers constant question - Why cant you be more like Ivan? Ivan was her sisters only son and in both woman's eyes Ivan was close to perfect. My mothers sister had two other daughters and she made no secret that both girls were a disappointment. Ivan was no trouble. She was proud of him. She relayed to my mother all of Ivans many and varied exploits. This made my mother jealous and always pointed out how I dissapointed her because I never told her anything let alone did anything worthwhile. All kinds of people made the comment that Ivan was close to his mother. My mother admired him absolutely and always discussed things with him in an adult way. He never gave his mother any trouble. Just the opposite to me she would often say. Why couldn't I be more like him? When we were growing up I did try to be like him. I tried to be his friend. I hung around him as much as I could. But he never encouraged me. Mostly he was indifferent. Sometimes he ignored me completely. When he did speak to me it was mostly to shush me because I was saying something embarrassing. When we became adults he softened to me a bit and kind of accepted me. But he didnt like discussing intimate things with me and he never really relaxed in my presence. He had other friends with whom he felt most relaxed - one of whom was in the group. I always knew he had different political views and that he dissaproved of my politics. We also had differing views on immigration and integration. He was definitely not a multiculturist - and I was. He had strong views on racial integration. Segregation was preferable. And immigration was dangerous. Look at what had happened when they let black people into England was his stock statement. He definitely thought it was dangerous to let different races into Australia. He didnt really respond to my request to join the group. After a period I asked again and again he didnt respond. There was only silence. I didnt get upset but I did accept it was some kind of message. I didnt press the issue. Up to this time I had always kept up contact with my relatives by visiting them. But it was always me who called on them. Jenny and I and the children were always visiting people. Including Ivan and his wife. After this Jenny said I should stop calling on my relatives and just see what happened. I saw her point and agreed I would try the experiment. Of course the obvious happened. Not one relative ever visited us. Twenty or more years have passed without any contact. The group endured and was quite popular in its own way. Ivan died unexpectedly several months ago. At his funeral the surviving one member of the group sang a song he had especially written for the occasion. The son of the other previously also deceased member joined him on stage and then made a speech telling the large crowd how important the group was to his father. Both of them then stood on stage together and wept at the memory. I did see Ivan shortly before his death. I had unexpectedly ran into his sister and she had said I should call in on Ivan where he was now living. She said he would like to see me. He now lived in rural Victoria and shortly after it just happened that I was going past his place. So I called in but when he saw who was calling he strode towards me and said in great anger - what are you coming around here for causing trouble? I didnt know why he was angry with me. I could only ask - Trouble? Who too? He did not elucidate. But he did take me to his wife and we did have a conversation of sorts. I didnt stay long. When I left I told them where I lived said that they would have to visit me. I said it knowing they would never visit me. But I still said it. I never saw him again. In retrospect it was better that he did not let me join the group. One can only learn these things in hindsight. In a way I didnt mind his behavior the last time I saw him. I had always believed that deep down this was how he really felt. He tolerated me because I was a relative but he didnt really like me. He disapproved of my politics. Probably he didnt like my body language. I was different to him. I believe that people reveal their true selves in anger. If they say things in anger you can believe that this is really how they feel. Unless they recant and apologise you should believe them.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Categories
All
Topics
All
Archives
February 2024
|